hotel room ftw
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
