No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better