We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
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What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
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Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day