She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
