Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
