Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
