3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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