I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
