Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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