Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
