i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
