So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
