Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
