Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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