Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
vagina is talking i cant
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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