Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
