none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
