Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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