garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize