why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
