but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
