I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
