yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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