all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
