No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
