at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize