Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
