im so drunk with asians
where?
always
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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