You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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