WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
