Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
