Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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