apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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