I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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