I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
