she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
