Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
