You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
