have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Still dying that you shit outside
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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