omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
