So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
PANTIES FOUND
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