Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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