You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
