It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
