Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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