so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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