belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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