Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize