Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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