i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
