It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
NoShamevember. You game?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
