So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
