honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
