Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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