I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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