Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
