Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
