Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
