Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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