i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
