And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
