I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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