Buhtt sex?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
