k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize