It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize