I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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