tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
