scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
