dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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