the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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