You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
